did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
my mouth tastes like poor choices
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Randomize
