how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
