I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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