at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Randomize