My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
