We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
