This girl is more easily done than said...
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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