bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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