She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize