So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Randomize
