I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
