she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize
