when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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