yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
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