I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Randomize
