didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
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