your room smells of hookers.
And success
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
