My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
