Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
