Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
