just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Randomize
