you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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