paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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