I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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