I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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