your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
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