I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
