I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
