am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
