before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
