she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Randomize
