return my video game
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
