You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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