Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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