I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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