dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
We had sex on a dog bed..
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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