i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Randomize
