he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
