sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
