I'm really into asian looking animals
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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