Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
