please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
