He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
