Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Drunk is not a location!
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
