At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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