If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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