Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
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