something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
In other news, I just burned my penis
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
