Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
