He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
